


all of the roads not taken

by gemini_nan



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Based of The Perfect Date, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, all relationships can be seen as platonic or romantic you choose, but hopefully with an actual plot lmao, chan learns something with each of the boys, endgame woochan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 12:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19317982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemini_nan/pseuds/gemini_nan
Summary: In which Chan is lonely and to find himself, he needs a little help. He meets the people that will help him, a few dates along the way.(Kind of) based on The Perfect Date.





	all of the roads not taken

**Author's Note:**

> All relationships can be seen as platonic or romantic (besides woochan).  
> Thanks a lot to Cath (BooksAndLattes) for supporting me through this ajsksks
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

 

Chan wasn’t stupid; he knew the way people looked at him.

He could feel the stares of hate, admiration, lust, curiosity. He was used to it; it had always been like that, after all, Chan was everywhere. Always curious to try new things, always catching the trick to be good at everything, making acquaintances in different groups of people; there was also being deemed handsome and mysterious just because he was a foreigner. Everywhere he went he got attention.

 

And Chan would lie if he said he didn’t like that attention, that recognition. He needed the attention to not feel like he would drift away into oblivion. At least until he met Woojin.

Woojin had never stared at him; they had just met by a coincidence. They clicked and soon, he became Chan’s best friend, or well, his only friend. He didn’t care about the stares anymore. He stopped caring about his status.

 

Right now, going back to not having real friends seemed a lot more appealing, though.

“Please, when have I ever asked you for a favor?” Woojin sat beside him, his voice a little higher than usual, his hand holding Chan’s thigh.

 

“Woojin, I’m not a babysitter.”

 

“He’s 18, Chan.”

 

“With more reason! Why would he need someone to take him to a dumb school dance?” Chan started eating his lunch. They were sat at one of the outdoors table of a little coffee shop just outside of campus.

 

“Because it’s his prom, his last school dance, and he doesn’t want to go alone but is also scared of asking any boy to go with him. That’s why.”

 

Chan sighed, he felt at least bad for the kid now. “And why don’t you go?”

“Wouldn’t it be a little weird if I did? I’m his cousin.”

 

“Fine. I’ll go, but you owe me one.” Chan took a sip of his coffee and dramatically sighed. Woojin rolled his eyes but smiled at him, satisfied.

 

“Do I, though? Do I need to remind you of that little History of Music test I gave you all the answers to?”

 

“I thought we were even when I took you for pancakes at 2 AM.”

 

“I thought you did that because you loved me, not as a favor.”

 

“Love isn’t real anyways.” Woojin laughed shaking his head and he playfully hit Chan’s arm.

“Fine, then maybe we will be even when I help you finish your Composition project.”

“You will?” Chan turned fully to look at his best friend.

“You’re giving up one of your nights; I might as well give up one of mine.”

“Kim Woojin, you’re the only man ever.” Chan grabbed both of Woojin’s shoulders and shook his body slightly

“I know,” he answered with eyes turning into crescents, laughter spilling from his lips. “I should go, I have class. See you later, captain.”

Woojin lightly patted Chan’s shoulder as he left. Chan rolled his eyes at the nickname but he smiled softly.

For some reason his head decided to replay the whole scene and as he was lost in thought someone approached him.

“Not to be intrusive, but you’re 2 millimeters away from being covered in coffee.”

Chan jumped a little and that just caused a little coffee from his cup, which was indeed very inclined and about to fall, to spill, the voice laughed as Chan quickly put the cup down. He looked up, one of the baristas was there.

Seungmin. Chan had had his eye on Seungmin since he started working at that coffee shop a few months earlier. Woojin often joked about Chan stalking Seungmin, but in reality, Chan was just obsessed with Seungmin’s voice.

He had heard the boy sing one morning when he thought he was alone. His voice was so unique and Chan couldn’t help but listen. They ended up becoming friends just by how often Chan went there ever since.

“Lost in thought much?” Seungmin asked with a slightly mocking voice as he picked up Chan’s plate.

“You could say so.”

“Anything worrying you?”

Chan had a chance and he took it. “Nothing some singing from my favorite barista can’t fix.”

“Sorry, Eric isn’t working today.”

“I wasn’t talking about him.”

“Well, don’t tell him that because the boy is kind of in love in you. Yet again, who isn’t?” Chan was about to ask some witty question about if Seungmin was too but he was interrupted. “Are you done with that?”

Chan gave him a fake disappointed look as he handed him his almost empty cup. “Actually, could you refill it?”

“Sure.”

Seungmin left and came back with a new full cup. Just as he was leaving to go back inside he turned to smile slyly at Chan. “And good luck with your prom date.”

Of course he had heard. Chan didn’t have the time to answer when Seungmin left.

Good luck is exactly what he needed.

 

Woojin didn’t give him a lot of information about his cousin, just that he was 18, wasn’t hard to miss because he had bright red hair and that he was extremely shy at first but to not be fooled by it because he could and would turn into the devil.

Chan wasn’t really into suits, he hadn’t had one since his own prom and since then, he had definitely gotten buff. In the end, he wore one of Woojin’s choir suits. His hair carefully styled to look almost prince-like and the most polite smile he could manage.

He rang the doorbell after gathering a little courage. A small woman opened the door; she smiled at Chan almost embarrassed and Chan bowed at her politely.

“Hello, I’m Bang Chan.”

“Of course, Woojinnie’s friend, right?” Chan nodded. “Thank you so much for doing this, kid. Jeongin appreciates it too.”

Jeongin. Right, he didn’t even know the name of the kid. Chan smiled and nodded once again.

Steps were heard and the woman looked inside the house. “He’s coming.” She said.

Coming down the stairs, there was a red-headed boy, though he wasn’t much like Chan expected. Maybe he expected a nerdy looking guy. What he got was a cute, baby-like guy with bright red hair and as he was coming closer he realized with fear that Jeongin was even taller than Chan himself.

Jeongin gave him a shy smile that Chan reciprocated.

“Have fun, you two, come back whenever you want to, just keep me informed,” Jeongin mom said and then the door was closed.

Chan turned to look at the boy, who was looking down, face almost matching his hair.

“Ready to go?” Chan asked. Jeongin nodded and followed Chan to his car. Once they were seated and Chan put the school address into his phone navigator, he cleared his throat. “I’m Chan or Chris, however you want to call me.”

“Jeongin, ah, Woojin talks a lot about you.”

“Good things, I hope.”

“He says you’re an idiot,” Jeongin laughed shyly, “a cute idiot.”

“I expected worse.”

Jeongin now laughed and Chan joined. The mood was a lot lighter and Chan decided he was going to make Jeongin have a good night.

“Thank you for doing this, by the way. I’m sure Woojin explained it to you.”

“He did and I understand it, I ended up going with a girl to prom, which is fine since I’m bi, but at the time I had a crush on a boy and not enough confidence to ask.”

Jeongin nodded slowly and smiled, Chan noticed the cute little crescents of his eyes and he was reminded of Woojin.

“On the bright side, how cool is it to show up with a cute college dude to a high-school prom?”

Chan huffed out a laugh. “It’d be cooler if I was driving a Camaro or something like that.”

“Now I’m disappointed you didn’t rent a limo.”

“You dream too far, kid, I’m a broke college student.”

“Can’t wait for that to be me.”

Until they got there, Chan hadn’t realized what school they were going to. He laughed at himself as he pulled over in the parking lot of Seoul School of Performing Arts. Chan didn’t make the connection, despite Woojin also having gone there.

“So you’re one of these kids, huh?” Chan asked Jeongin mockingly, Jeongin rolled his eyes with a smile (the boy smiled a lot, which was honestly endearing).

“Indeed, I wear the yellow uniform.”

“You’re going into college for music, then?”

“Hopefully.”

Their conversation stopped once they got into the place. Music played loudly, Chan wasn’t even surprised by the high budget of the event. The music was live, probably students performing for some extra credit. Chan almost laughed at the little circle of kids at the center of the floor that were way too good at dancing.

“So, are you into dancing?” Chan asked Jeongin as loudly as he could.

Jeongin shook his head. “I suck at it.”

“Here, I’ll teach you.”

Chan had Jeongin copy some moves and he did his best in between laughs and giggles. Chan hadn’t expected to enjoy it so much, being with Jeongin was easy, light. What Chan also didn’t expect was Jeongin to be so popular.

Jeongin seemed like a really shy person and to most of the people that approached him during their time on the dancefloor, he was. But everyone still seemed to like him. Some of them even expressed disappointment at the presence of Chan, at how they had wanted to go with Jeongin, which made the redhead and himself just a little uncomfortable.

As for Chan, he didn’t get a lot of questions; maybe because he did see a few girls with some older looking boys. But Jeongin was getting overwhelmed, even if Chan didn’t really know him, he could tell by the way his smile was slowly forming into a frown, the way his eyes were no longer little crescents, but just looking around dizzily.

Chan leaned into Jeongin’s ear. “Let’s go get a drink.”

They headed over to the beverage table, Jeongin seemed thankful for the interruption. But of course, Chan’s clumsy ass had to act up on him. It was getting hot, he took off his jacket and he managed to knock over his plastic cup all over the table with one of the sleeves. He sighed as he picked it up and then he heard Jeongin laugh.

More than the cute, shy laugh Chan had seen in the car, this laugh was loud and airy and Jeongin was clapping, almost delighted.

Woojin was right. This kid was the devil.

Chan took Jeongin by the wrist as the younger boy still laughed. “You know what? We’re going outside.”

Jeongin let himself be dragged by Chan, only a few people looking at them on their way. When they were finally outside, the loud music now muffled by the walls, Chan saw Jeongin had little tears on his eyelashes, probably from laughing too much. Chan decided to laugh it off too.

“Thank you for getting me out of there,” said Jeongin once their laugh died out. The cold air was much appreciated.

“I saw you getting antsy. You’re quite the popular guy, I didn’t expect that.”

Jeongin’s smile turned mocking, almost bitter. “Yeah, not a fan of that.”

“Oh?”

“I know it looks like I want to stand out. The hair, the fact that I’m in a school for people that want to be famous. But being popular has never been my goal.”

“You don’t like that people like you?”

“I don’t like that they stare at me like I’m some kind of price instead of a person,” those words were like a punch in the gut for Chan, Jeongin probably didn’t notice, but his breath hitched a little. “It’s like they want to be close to me just because I’m popular. I’d rather be invisible that to be stared at that way.”

In that moment, Chan questioned it all. He thrived of the stares, he never once cared that they were fake. But Jeongin was right: he was a person not a price to be won. He could be a friend, not a free pass to popularity.

Jeongin didn’t get to ask about Chan’s silence, because suddenly a girl approached them.

“Innie! I was looking for you!” Jeongin tensed up, probably at the way the girl carelessly took his hand in hers. “Come dance with me! Oh, is this your brother or something?”

She stared at Chan with fluttery eyes and a sly smile. Chan knew that stare very well. It seemed Jeongin did too, by the expression of disbelief and almost disgust.

“I’m his date, actually,” Chan stepped up, putting a hand to Jeongin’s shoulder. The girl took a step back, letting go of Jeongin’s hand and looking very uncomfortable.

“Ah, I didn’t know you were… that way.” And she left, no other words said.

Jeongin sighed and turned to look at Chan with a shy smile.

“Can we leave now?”

Chan nodded and, with a hand still on the younger's shoulder, guided him to his car.

“You don’t have to be so nice to them; you should speak up if they make you uncomfortable.” Chan said as they got out of the school

“I know, I’m trying to work on that.”

“Remember you’re worth a lot more than stares and unwanted touches.”

Chan diverted the subject and started talking about music, school, Woojin. Anything and everything. The ride back felt way too short.

Maybe Chan was almost 4 years older than Jeongin, but Jeongin was quick-witted and smart. The conversation never felt stale. Chan found himself enjoying Jeongin’s giggly voice much more than the loud party in a rich school.

“It’s a shame you’re graduating just as I’m going in,” Jeongin mentioned with a sad smile when Chan pulled over in front of his house.

“Ah, it really is. But don’t worry, you can call me if you have any other party to go to,” Chan said teasingly.

“Hey! I know you’re joking but you’re actually great at this, you’re like the perfect boy. You should consider making it a service.”

Chan laughed. “What? Like a date for hire service?”

“Why not?” Jeongin exclaimed.

“You’re ridiculous,” Chan shook his head with a smile, Jeongin smiled back. His eyes were shiny, his grin from ear to ear. He looked adorable; Chan couldn’t help but reach out to ruffle his hair.

“Maybe, but I got to go on a date with a cute college boy, so who’s the winner here?”

“Probably me, I had fun today.”

“Good, it’s the least you deserve.”

“Maybe I should give you my number, in case of another party.”

Jeongin rolled his eyes playfully but took out his phone. He handed it to Chan and Chan put in his number.

“Thank you, Chan. For this, for the advice, the dance lessons, the free ride,” Jeongin looked down, embarrassed. “I hope I don’t become just ‘that one 18 year old I once hung out with.’”

Chan reached out to squeeze his hand. “You’re already more than that. Now go back, Cinderella. Midnight is approaching.”

Jeongin got out of the car and made a peace sign at Chan. Chan looked at him as he got inside the house and smiled softly.

Remember you’re worth a lot more than stares and unwanted touches. Maybe Chan had to take that advice for himself.

 

 

“It doesn’t even sound that crazy!”

“Yes, it does, Chan. Really? A date for hire? Like some kind of escort? I knew Jeongin was a bad influence,” Woojin rolled his eyes as they sat down at their usual table.

“First, Jeongin is great, don’t get him into this. Second, no, not an escort. Just as courtesy. Imagine all the people that are lonely and maybe don’t want to be for one day. I could be with them for a while, be the perfect boy for them and then get a little money from it”

“Chan, that sounds like an escort.”

“It’s not!”

“You’re becoming an escort?” Of course Seungmin decided to show up at that moment. Woojin giggled as Chan rolled his eyes.

“A date for hire, actually,” Chan said.

“I actually think you’d do good at that,” Seungmin said, leaning on their table.

“Oh, don’t encourage him” Woojin complained.

“I could help you. Like, put up one of those ‘take a number’ posters?” Seungmin’s voice was equally teasing as it was serious. Chan saw the pain in Woojin’s eyes when he smiled widely at Seungmin.

“Do it.”

“Sure, don’t listen to Woojin, it’s not like he has anything important to say,” Woojin muttered slamming his hand onto the table.

“It’s okay, you’ll still be number one in my heart,” Chan put his hand over Woojin’s as his friend rolled his eyes, but he didn’t protest any further. “Then let’s do this.”

 

In the end, Seungmin did put a “take a number poster” with 6 little numbers to tear (starting out small, as Seungmin had suggested). It read:

 

NEED A DATE?

Are you bored, lonely, trying to make someone jealous or need a plus two?

Message this number with your request and you’ll get this boy at your door.

(Price negotiable, males and females accepted for the request).

xxx-xxx-xxx

 

Yes, it was cheesy and, as Woojin said around 20 times when they made it, ridiculous. But Chan thought it would be fun, interesting. Maybe he’d get something out of it.

They taped the sign to one of the walls in the shop (“just hope the owner doesn’t notice”, Seungmin had said) and then it was waiting.

 

Turns out he didn’t have to do much waiting for he got a text around 4 hours later.

xxx-xxx: is this the date thing…?

chan: yeah, that would be me! need a date?

xxx-xxx: something like that! i just moved to korea, i know nothing of the place and based on the poster outside campus i guess we go to the same school? could you maybe show me around? i don’t really have any friends yet

chan: of course! set a date, time and what would you like to do and i’d be more than glad to do so.

xxx-xxx: tomorrow at 2, just show me things you like around the area. we could meet at the nose blood shop.

chan: …nose blood? don’t you mean coffee?

xxx-xxx: IS THAT HOW IT’S WRITTEN? i’m sorry, i’m australian, I have been learning korean for about a year

chan: dude, no way

 

The boy, whose name was Felix, was just as stoked as Chan at the coincidence of finding another Australian with them; they texted a little throughout the day, just making plans for their day. But to Chan, the experience was a lot more than that, it was knowing he was not alone, knowing he could speak English without trouble, being comfortable with a total stranger.

Chan talked to Woojin about it and despite the exasperated look his best friend gave him for actually going through with the idea, he looked happy for him. Because Woojin was there when Chan cried in his mother’s birthday, when he felt like a bad brother for not being there when his sister graduated; he was there when he missed Australia so much that even the cold weather in winter made him feel weak.

The next day didn’t come fast enough. He didn’t even know what Felix looked like (“My hair is orange, I think you’ll find me just fine” was his only clue), but when 2 PM approached and he walked to the coffee shop, he felt giddy.

When he got there, he saw the orange hair immediately. The guy was reading something in his phone, so Chan approached him and lightly tapped his shoulder. The guy jumped up, way more scared than the normal reaction would be, but when he saw Chan, he smiled widely.

Shit, he was cute.

He was the same height as Chan, but he looked clearly younger; maybe in the way his beautiful smile crinkled his eyes, maybe the playful orange hair. He was incredibly pretty, but what caught Chan’s attention the most was the boy’s freckles: a lot of them, dusting his tanned skin (something Chan was sure was going to fade into a lighter color), it was adorable.

“Chris, right?” The guy asked, holding out his hand for Chan.

“That would be me! Are you ready to go or would you like a drink first?”

“I could do with some coffee.”

Felix’s accent felt like home, it was strong and his voice was a lot deeper than Chan could’ve ever imagined based only on his face.

Sadly, Seungmin wasn’t there to see Chan’s first success but they still ordered iced Americano, only slightly struggling to spell Felix’s name to the barista.

Felix tried to pay for his drink but Chan stopped him as he passed his card to the girl attending them. Felix was about to say something along the lines of “you don’t have to” but Chan interrupted him.

“Hey, it’s still a date, right?” He said, accompanied by a little wink. Felix laughed nervously and looked down. A shy one, apparently.

They got out and Chan immediately turned to Felix.

“So, like I told you, we could probably go to Hongdae, it’s like a trendy place so I’m sure we’ll find something interesting.”

“You’re the guide, Mr. Bang.”

The walk wasn’t more than 20 minutes, but in those 20 minutes, Chan learnt more about Felix than about most of the people he knew.

He learnt Felix was just starting college, he was 19, and that he was from Sydney, just like Chan. That he liked dancing and studied Performance Arts.

“Why did you decide to study here?” Chan asked him as they entered the streets of Hongdae.

“I wanted to… reconnect with my culture, I guess. I suddenly felt sad that at my 18 years old I didn’t know Korean. What about you?”

What about Chan?

Maybe he had felt lonely. Maybe he wanted a fresh start to get away from everything. 

“I guess it just called out to me.”

The conversation stopped as Felix started being entertained by every little shop in the area, Chan followed him closely. Felix asked about places and things they didn’t have in Australia. Chan was happy to answer, seeing Felix light up at everything was endearing. He had a childish energy different to that of Jeongin’s. While Jeongin was giggly and hyper, Felix was easily excitable and curious. Maybe he was too cute for his own good.

They did get into some of the shops, Felix buying every useless but cute thing that came his way including a tiny Pikachu keychain and strawberry flavored toothpaste with Luffy on the package. 

They decided to eat at a Korean BBQ and Chan was surprised to see it was almost 6 PM. They day went easy with Felix, their conversations weren’t forced, they got to know each other by genuine interest and Felix was actually a fun person despite being shy.

“What made you do this, by the way? The whole date thing.”

“Ah, a joke?” Chan smiled, Felix laughed while stuffing more meat into his mouth. “At least the suggestion was a joke. I just thought it would be fun.”

“You’re quite good at this. Aren’t you just the perfect boy?”

“Of course not, I’m far from perfect.”

“Are you, though? You’re very handsome, smart, nice and funny.”

“It’s funny that you think that, because I think that about you, too,” Chan wasn’t even lying. Felix was in fact all of those things. And Chan would lie if he said he hadn’t been thinking about said things all day.

“Ah, thank you,” once again Felix looked down.

“Are you ready to go?” Felix nodded.

Chan took Felix to a famous ice cream place, seeing his excited face at the cool designs of the ice cream was definitely worth the waiting in line. Maybe Felix himself was worth the waiting line. Chan took the time to appreciate his face once again: the sun-kissed skin, the pretty lips and those stupid cute freckles. Chan was sure Felix saw him staring, judging by the light blush in his face, but he didn’t care.

They ate their ice-cream happily and walked through a small park, Chan talking about their college and his own studies, Felix listening attentively. It was nice. He didn’t even notice that he had been mixing Korean and English. It all felt so natural.

It was starting to get dark.

“We should probably go back,” Chan said.

Their walk back was different; it was quieter but still comfortable. They were soon back at the coffee shop.

“I just realized we never negotiated the price,” Felix mentioned, Chan hadn’t even remembered he was supposed to get paid.

“There’s no need to pay.”

“Wasn’t that the point of this?” Felix asked with a giggle.

“Well, yeah, but in the end I think I just enjoyed it.”

“I still feel bad… I did take one of your days,” Felix looked nervous but Chan just placed a hand on one of his shoulders.

“Then maybe I’ll take one of yours in the future and maybe you can pay for the coffee next time, yeah?”

Felix smiled coyly, happily. He nodded.

“It’s a deal. Thank you, for hanging out with me.”

“No, thanks to you for giving me a little bit of home.” Maybe Chan’s voice sounded sadder than intended, but he didn’t care, he wanted to be truthful. 

They stared at each other for a little and then Felix hugged him. When he stepped back he seemed embarrassed but he was smiling.

“Goodnight, Chris.”

“I hope to see you soon,” Chan answered and then saw Felix walk into the campus, a different complex from Chan’s.

In the silent street, he already missed Felix’s deep voice.

 

Retelling the story to Woojin over the phone felt almost surreal.

“So you literally could’ve passed by each other without even knowing,” Woojin mentioned. Chan laughed at the thought. Felix had actually mentioned a mall and a beach back in Australia that Chan also frequented. Maybe Woojin was right, maybe they had just ignored each other like any other strangers would, without knowing how their destinies were faded to collide.

“Isn’t that such soulmate culture?”

Woojin laughed. “I'm glad you got to know him, Chan. A shame you didn’t get paid though, I was really expecting you to take me out.”

“We can still do that, like right now. Get dressed, I’ll go pick you up.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Woojins voice was of disbelief but at the same time he was already used to Chans shenanigans.

“Ridiculous, but with a cause and a hunger for your company and maybe some cheesecake.”

“So just ridiculous,” Woojin sighed playfully and then giggled. “Fine, see you in 10?”

“Sure.”

It was already late, almost 11 PM, Chan didn’t have an idea of where to go and when he said that to Woojin as they met outside his dorm, his best friend rolled his eyes.

“You really have to start planning ahead, sweetheart.”

“Why would I when I have my very own personal planner, alarm and best friend all included?”

“I am not your mother, Chan.”

“Good thing you're not because I find you really attractive and that would just make it weird.”

“One day. One day without one of your weird-ass comments. That’s all I ask for.”

Chan laughed wholeheartedly at Woojins expression. Woojin tried to stay serious but soon joined Chans laughter.

The ended up in a 24 hour diner about 20 minutes later. Woojin ordered chocolate cake and a chocolate milkshake (“Dude, do you want to die of a sugar rush?” “Maybe.”) while Chan settled for cheesecake and Woojins milkshake (“Or you could just, you know, order your own” “why would I do that?”).

“So, the date thing, are you still gonna do it?” Woojin asked him between bites of his cake.

“Sure, it was actually really nice the first few times-“

“Are you really counting Jeongin as the first one?”

“-yes, I am. So, yes, I will continue. It sounds exciting.”

“It sounds crazy. Why is this even a thing you're doing?”

“Because why not. It's just like blind dates but better because I get paid.”

“I just cannot argue with you, can I?”

“Nope.”

They ate their cakes through more trivial conversations after that, but in his head, Chan couldn’t stop replaying the thoughts of Jeongins laugh and words; the way the light hit Felix's freckles and the way his accent made him feel just as warm as that light.

Chan was fortunate to meet them, he just hoped the rest that came along would be as nice as them.

 

It was only two days later that Chan got a phone call at 10 PM. It was certainly an unusual hour for an unknown number to call, but of course Chan had had no intentions of sleeping anyway, so he took it.

“Hello”

“Hi, is this is dating boy?”

“That would be me, yes,” Chan stirred on his bed and put aside his computer with the project he was working on. His heart started beating fast at the thought of meeting someone else. Maybe he was getting just slightly addicted to the feeling.

“I need you because I’m dumb and apparently have no self-control,” Chan strained a laugh at how monotone the guys voice sounded while saying such a ridiculous line. The strangers voice was interesting, low and raspy, but also nasally, Chan imagined some tough looking guy on the other side of the line.

“I would love some context for that.”

“My parents are homophobic, I just came out to them. They don’t believe I'm gay just because I have never dated anyone, you know, the whole choosing to be gay thing, so… Do you get where I'm going?”

“I do. They’re not… aggressive, right?”

“No more than some uncomfortable commentary, I wouldn't ask if they were, please, I really need this. They're looking for any excuse to marry me off to the daughter of some dumb company,” the guy truly sounded desperate. Chan felt just a little unsure, he didn’t want to deal with said parents, but if he could do anything to help this stranger, he would.

“Okay, deal. Tell me when and where and I'll be there.”

“Thank you so much,” the relief on his voice was tangible. “Friday at 7, I'll send you the address. And the payment can be anything depending on your experience; money really doesn’t matter to me.”

“Then I'll see you soon…”

“Right, Changbin. Seo Changbin.”

“Bang Chan. Can't wait to be your boyfriend.”

“Likewise. Have a good night.”

 

When Changbin said he didn’t care about the money, Chan thought he was one of those free-spirited guys that thought material things held no meaning.

What he didn’t expect was to arrive to a literal mansion, though that would have made a lot of sense. The comment about his parents trying to marry him off didn’t seem much like a joke now.

Chan texted “I'm here” to Changbin, he didn't get an answer, so he walked up to the door. Before he could even knock, a short, distressed looking guy opened and when he saw Chan his expression softened. 

“Chan? Thank God you're here.”

Oh.

Hearing the raspy voice come from the guy was almost as much of a shock as Felix's. 

The guy was clearly shorter than Chan (finally) and was wearing a soft, cream colored turtleneck. But there was something about his eyes, the way his black, straight hair almost covered them. The sharpness of his face. 

He looked equally dark as he looked soft and that messed with Chan's head. 

 

“Yes, sorry, hi,” Chan finally answered. Instead of making Chan go inside, the guy closed the door behind him and got closer to Chan. 

 

“Don't worry. Thanks for coming. Just, a few warnings, I suppose?” Changbin seemed nervous as he spoke, but he still tried to look at Chan in the eye. “They will be dicks to you, don't let it get to your head. They will be specially mean to me, also ignore that. No skinship, that will actually give them a stroke. I will do most of the talking, so don't worry about it.”

 

“Hey, it'll be okay,” Chan put his hand on Changbin's shoulder tentatively. Changbin jumped a little but gave Chan a little nod. 

 

“I hope so. Let's go inside.”

 

Even though Changbin wasn't exactly dressed fancily either, Chan still felt incredibly undressed with his dress shirt and black pants once he entered the house. 

Chandeliers hanging everywhere, a big hallway that seemed to serve no other purpose than to display the many family pictures, diplomas and a rather creepy painting of who Chan assumed were Changbin's parents. 

He was right, because as Changbin lead him to the dining room he met face to face with the people on said painting. 

It was cold. 

The ambiance was cold, the house was cold, the stares were cold, almost like the painting came to live. 

 

Both of the adults stood up at his arrival, Chan actually got there right in time, maybe even a few minutes earlier. He still felt like they had been waiting for hours and were pissed at him for wasting their time. 

Chan bowed politely, the woman nodded in acknowledgement; the man just stared at him. 

 

“Mother, Father, this is Bang Chan, my boyfriend.” Changbin said after clearing his throat. 

 

Chan could see the disgust in the woman's eyes as the word boyfriend. 

 

There was no answer, so Chan just bowed again. “It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Seo.” Still nothing. 

 

Changbin signaled for Chan to sit. The table was big but they still sat together, Changbin putting himself in between his father and Chan, which Chan felt thankful for. 

The food was already arranged on the table, and without a word, the man started putting food on his plate. After he was done, Changbin encouraged Chan to do the same. 

For a while everything was quiet, Changbin seemed tense as he ate. Chan looked at him, the emotions his eyes exuded were mixed. It was fear and anger and maybe hope. 

 

“Where did you meet him, Changbin?” The woman asked after seeming too uncomfortable by the silence. 

 

“College.”

 

“So he's a wannabe producer, too?” The man's voice was perfectly calm, almost nonchalant as he basically stabbed his son and Chan with no more than words.

 

Chan was interested though. Too? He didn't know Changbin studied music production too, a coincidence that Chan could certainly work with. 

 

“Yes, sir,” Chan spoke. Changbin, who had been intensely staring at his plate, turned to look at him. “I am indeed a wannabe producer. I already work with a company, District 9 Entertainment.”

 

“Which I've never heard of, not that I'm surprised by that.”

 

“Dad-”

 

Chan was just getting angry at that point. “It's okay, Bin,” the nickname rolled off his tongue naturally. “You don't have to worry about me, sir. It's actually growing pretty steadily.”

 

The man didn't answer. Chan saw as Changbin's breathing was getting heavy. 

 

“At least he's doing something,” the woman said sweetly, touching her husband's arm, “unlike our own son.”

 

Changbin flinched, he looked so small and Chan had the urge to hold his hand, hug him. But Changbin had asked him not to. He had to respect that. 

 

“You're right, love,” the man answered. “I guess the boy is good enough for another one of Changbin's little phases.”

 

“As a matter of fact,” Chan wasn't going to say anything, he really wasn't, but he saw a tear slide down Changbin's face. He saw red. “I love your son. Be it a phase or not, I love him.”

 

Now Changbin was crying, his father turned to look at him with disgust. It made Chan's stomach turn. 

 

Not one soul spoke for the rest of the dinner. Once they were finished, Changbin's father left the room immediately. 

 

Changbin and Chan also stood up. Chan bowed to Changbin's mother. “Thank you for the meal, ma'am.” 

 

Changbin walked him outside of the house. As soon as they were outside, Changbin started sobbing. 

Chan didn't hesitate to pull him in his arms. 

 

“I'm sorry,” Changbin's muffled voice came from against his chest. “It was worse than I expected.”

 

“Don't apologize, it's okay. I'm sorry I made it worse.”

 

“You were great.”

 

Chan removed some of the hair over Changbin's eyes and Changbin smiled. It was the first time in all night Chan saw him smile. It was nice, it made him look a lot cuter than he already was. 

 

“I don't want to go inside just yet…” Changbin trailed off looking at the house almost in fear. 

 

“Then don't, let's go get some coffee.”

 

“I don't know if I should,” Changbin’s voice was doubtful but his eyes were hopeful. Chan smiled and took him by the hand, softly pulling him towards his car. Changbin let himself be dragged. 

 

Chan drove him to a coffee shop nearby, it wasn't too late so it was easy to find an open shop. Changbin was really silent the whole ride, he looked like he was deep in thought so Chan didn't interrupt. 

 

They sat side by side on a little couch, drinks in hand. 

"So you're a producer, too, Changbin?" The you get boy seemed startled but soon smiled, avoiding Chan's eyes. 

 

"Not a very good one, but I try. I actually just said we met in college to make it more believable, I never expected you to actually be one.”

 

“It was a nice coincidence.”

 

Changbin smiled playfully. “Maybe we can work together some time.”

 

“I’d like that! What kind of music do you do?”

 

“Mostly hiphop…”

 

Time flew by as they spoke about music, it was amazing, how Changbin's whole demeanour changed away from his parents. His eyes were brighter, his smile more casual, his voice higher and excited. 

He was also incredibly cute, he pouted and slipped into a baby voice every few sentences. And yet, his words were so entrancing. He was smart and so, so passionate. Chan admired that. Without even realizing, he had leaned into Changbin just hearing him talk about the music he liked.

When Changbin realized Chan was maybe too close to him, he laughed in embarrassment and leaned back; also embarrassed, Chan scratched his neck.

 

“It was probably dumb on my part, you know? To come out to them,” Changbin said suddenly. “I could’ve had any excuse but I just couldn't hide that part of myself for much longer.”

 

“You were really brave,” Chan touched Changbin's hand and the boy jumped slightly. “I'm sorry.”

 

“No, I'm sorry. It's just… you're the first guy I've ever gone out with, even if its not real,” The boy's laugh was shy and Chan couldn't help but smile. 

 

“Who says its not real?" Changbin's eyes opened a lot at Chan's comment. “Of course part of it was staged and yes, we did settle a payment, but, in the end, we're here: alone, together, enjoying our time with one another. This is most definitely a date.”

 

Changbin didn't speak for a little but when he did the smile was evident in his voice. “I'm glad you're my first date.”

 

Some part of Chan was glad, too.

 

Chan drove Changbin back to his parents house, the boy nervously looked at the door so Chan hugged him.

Changbin wasn't that much shorter than Chan, but he was definitely smaller. Chan didn't let go of him until Changbin did. Chan looked at his face, his eyes were still puffy and his hair messy. Chan felt the need to protect him, but something about the strength and fire in his eyes made him think Changbin could probably protect himself. 

 

“Right,” Changbin got a stack of bills out of his pocket. He gave them to Chan without much thought. 

 

“Isn't this too much?” Chan was a little shocked, but Changbin seemed satisfied with it. 

 

“It's the least I can do. Thank you, really.”

 

“No, thanks to you. I… wish you luck.”

 

Chan hugged him again, this time shorter but just as softly. When he was about to pull apart, Changbin pulled Chan towards himself again and softly spoke on Chan's ear. 

 

“If I ever get a real boyfriend, I wouldn't mind it if he was just like you.” Then he let go. Chan was sure he was blushing and maybe Changbin noticed because he smirked. “Goodnight, Chan.”

 

“I'll… text you.”

 

“Sure.”

 

As Chan drove mindlessly, his mind didn't leave Changbin. He hoped his parents wouldn't act up in their anger. He hoped he hadn't made it worse. 

Before he realized, he was outside of Woojin’s dorm. 

 

“Why do you only like me at night?” Woojin asked as he opened the door. He was already in his pajamas, but he looked wide awake. 

 

“That's suggestive,” Chan didn't even bother to wait for an invitation, he just went inside. 

 

“Why are you even here?”

 

“My date is over.”

 

“Right, how did that go?”

 

“Part of it horribly, part of it nice,” Chan let himself fall over Woojin’s couch, Woojin joined him. “Though the guy was cute, smart and loaded.”

Chan took out the stack of bills out of his pocket and it made Woojin raise an eyebrow. 

 

“Then I'm not complaining this time.”

 

“Can I stay here tonight?”

 

“Will it make a difference if I say no?” Woojin asked after humming. Chan chuckled. 

 

“No. But we can watch One Piece or something.”

 

“Fine. You're lucky I only have afternoon classes tomorrow.”

 

They ended up huddled in Woojin’s bed, drinking hot chocolate and watching less than three episodes until they fell asleep. 

Maybe going to a party was fun and walking through stores had been nice; but nothing could ever compare to this. 

 

 

Chan surprised himself at how good and easy it was to keep in contact with his “dates”. It was a completely different experience with each one. 

A little shy at first, Jeongin started talking to Chan about his progress at school, about his graduation and the people around him. Chan offered advice and encouragement, some protective instinct over the younger stepping in. 

Felix often sent Chan pictures of things he found interesting about Seoul. It was endearing. Chan found himself laughing over Felix's stories and cute mistakes.

Changbin was a very welcomed new addition, often recommending songs to Chan, asking him questions about producing. Changbin didn't seem to sleep much, not unlike Chan, so their conversation often seeped through late hours of the night.

And for the first time in his life, Chan felt like a whole person.

 

Chan wanted to be more excited about said discovery, but school was absolutely kicking his ass.

Because he was in his final year, the projects and professors became more demanding. He didn't even have time to return to his place to work on a specific project, producing a whole song from scratch. Instead, Chan opted for working at the coffee shop. 

Seungmin was incredibly nice through all of it. His jokingly mean persona fading to a softer, more worried one. He kept Chan caffeinated and the place quiet.

Chan didn't even know if Seungmin considered him a friend, but he still was incredibly grateful to him.

 

“How is it going?” Seungmin asked him in one of Chan's rare breaks.

 

“I'm almost done with the beat but I still have to record all of the vocals and I can't ask Woojin to help me because he's also busy,” Chan sighed, feeling stress just by talking about it.

 

“I can help you,” Chan looked up at Seungmin with surprise probably tattooed on his face, “if you want to, that is.”

 

“Nothing would make me happier.” He meant it.

 

And so, two days later, they were inside one of the school studios that Chan had booked for the day. He had nervously sent Seungmin the guide for the song the night before so the boy was quietly practicing while Chan was setting everything up. 

 

“So,” finally Seungmin spoke. “How's the dating thing going?"

 

Chan chuckled. “Pretty good, actually, the last guy I went out with is helping me with this project, too. He's a rapper.”

Chan had been so impressed at Changbins voice that he had practically begged him to help. Changbin, of course, said yes immediately.

 

“Oh, you're still in contact with him?”

 

“With all of them actually,” Chan was too distracted to see Seungmin's surprise. “Okay, I'm ready, you can go in now.”

 

The song Chan had made didn't have a title yet. Young Wings, Spread my wings, Naturally were some of the runner ups. The idea had come to him after a talk with Woojin, the ever mature Woojin that wasn't so mature after all. Woojin who was scared to act like a child in fear people wouldn't take him seriously. It stuck so much to Chan he simply had to write about it. 

 

Seungmin gave him a thumbs up after putting on his headphones. Chan gave him a thumbs up back and started the track.

And once again, Chan got blown away by Seungmin.

 

His voice was so unique, so beautiful and clear. It was youthful. Maybe Young Wings isn't a bad idea. Chan saw as the boy sang so naturally, like breathing, and felt respect for him.

Seungmin was double majoring in photography and music, on top of that, he worked part time at the café. Chan had never met someone so dedicated.

 

They repeated the track a few times until Seungmin was satisfied with his performance (“it's already perfect,” Chan would say. “You're just biased, run it again,” the boy would respond).

 

When Seungmin came out of the little booth, Chan couldn't help but hug him. Maybe Seungmin was surprised, as he took a few seconds to reciprocate, but when he did, Chan felt joy.

 

“Thank you so much,” Chan told him.

 

“After rejecting it for almost a year, I think it was about time I indulged you,” Seungmin answered with a smile, patting Chan's head.

 

After saving and putting away everything, they decided to grab lunch before Seungmin's shift.

 

“I admire you a lot, you know?” Chan brought up as they ate. Seungmin raised an eyebrow at him. “Double majoring and working, I'm sure it's not easy.”

 

Seungmin smiled softly, Chan had never seen him smile like that. “It's not, but I like it and that's motivation enough. I'm young and life goes by too fast, I gotta take advantage of it before it takes advantage of me.”

 

Chan was left speechless for a few seconds. “You're too smart for you own good.”

 

Seungmin laughed and the conversation ended at that.

 

Chan took Seungmin to the café.

 

“Thank you again for your help. I… wasn't sure you even considered me a friend enough to help, so thank you.”

 

Seungmin smiled and rolled his eyes. “Of course we're friends, Chan.”

 

Seungmin's smile was cute, it was as youthful as his voice. Seungmin was cute. Chan ran a hand through the boy’s hair.

 

“I'm glad you think so. Good luck at work.”

 

Chan heard the song again and again and he never got tired of Sungmin's voice. He loved Seungmin's voice.

 

 

He turned in his song and finished all his projects for the week, almost like the universe had heard him get a rest, he got a call.

 

“Hello, boy of the dates, this is an emergency.” Chan couldn't help but chuckle at the boys whiny voice, which only got whinier after Chan laughing. “Don't laugh at me, this is life or death!”

 

“Alright, alright. What do you need?”

 

“A plus-two for my sister’s wedding.”

 

“Oh, sure, when will that be?”

 

“... tomorrow? ” He sounded ashamed. “It's okay if you can't! I know it's short notice.”

 

“It is, but don't worry, I think I can make it.”

 

“Ugh, thank god. I'm Hyunjin, by the way!”

 

“Chan.”

 

“Nice to meet you! I'll send you the address through text. Goodnight, Chan!” Hunjin said, voice sweet, as he hung up.

 

Well… he was nice. 

 

Chan decided to text Woojin. 

 

chan: going to a wedding tomorrow, wish me luck

woojin: oh you're getting married?? 

chan: only if it's you in the altar, babe

woojin: choke

chan: kinky

woojin: vanish

chan: jk it's one of the date things

woojin: oh well, good luck, have fun, don't get kidnapped

chan: i’ll try my best

 

When he woke up the next morning, he had around 10 messages from Hyunjin. The messages contained the address, a reminder of the time and a request for the suit to be black. 

He could do that. 

 

So Chan wore the same suit as in Jeongin's prom, styled his hair in the most prince-like way he could manage, even adding a few French braids to the side of his head. 

 

He drove to the address Hyunjin had provided later on the afternoon, it was more of a garden than a place for parties, there were already a few cars outside. 

He texted Hyunjin a simple "I'm outside", getting a happy face emoji in return. Then the door to the garden opened and out of it was a tall guy. 

As Chan got closer to him, he felt his heart rate rise. 

 

The guy was beautiful, everything about him was beautiful. His hair was black and carefully styled and his smile was blinding, shy and pretty and he looked like a prince in his also black suit. 

 

"Chan!" His voice was energetic, he waved and Chan waved back with a smile of his own. 

 

"Hyunjin, right?" 

 

"Yes! I'm glad you could make it!" 

 

Hyunjin got closer to him and only then Chan realized he was holding a tie in his hands. 

 

"Is that for me?" Chan asked, the boy nodded with a still blinding smile. 

 

"It's so we can match! Oh, and the payment in advance!" 

Chan scanned him and he found a little blue flower, incredibly similar to the color of the tie, lying on Hyunjin's chest. 

Chan smiled and took off his own tie to then put on the new one, also putting the money in his pocket. When he was done, he looked up at Hyunjin, who looked very satisfied with his choice. 

 

"Okay! We can go in now," Hyunjin said emphatically. 

 

Hyunjin guided Chan through the garden, a beautiful garden at that, full of trees and flowers and a fountain. It looked more like the house of a fairy than a party location. It was magical. 

 

"It's really pretty, isn't it?" Hyunjin asked him, noticing Chan's lost gaze. 

 

"Oh. Yeah, it is."

 

"I picked it," Hyunjin giggled and Chan couldn't help but look at him; his laugh was adorable, contagious, it made Chan want to make him laugh again and again. 

 

"You have a good eye."

 

"Thanks, that's why I picked you." Before Chan had the chance to even be flustered, Hyunjin stopped him in his tracks as they approached the mass of people. "Don't worry about them, I told them we had only been on a few dates, nothing serious, so you don't need to know them or anything."

 

Chan giggled a little as Hyunjin dragged him again to, who Chan assumed, were the boy's parents. 

 

"Mom, dad!" He had been right. It was easy to tell, the woman was as beautiful and the man as put together and tall as their son. "This is Chan, he's my date today."

 

"Hello, nice to meet you."

 

"It's nice to meet you, too" the man shook Chan's hand with a smile. 

 

"We're glad you could make it," the woman said, also smiling. Chan bowed at her, surprised at how truthful they seemed in their words. The change of ambiance compared to Changbin's parents gave him whiplash. 

 

"Chan, let's go get some food!" Hyunjin seemed to have a habit of dragging him to places. It was almost like a dog excitedly pulling on their leash. It made Chan feel warm inside. 

 

The venue had a buffet table, a lot of people were already eating, there were few people, but everything seemed so warm between everyone, Chan even felt out of place, but as Hyunjin spoke about his favorite foods, he could forget about it. 

 

Realizing he was maybe talking to much, Hyunjin laughed, embarrassed, and turned to look at Chan, his eyes in little crescents and the biggest smile ever. 

"I'm sorry, I get excited easily!" 

 

"It's okay, it's cute," Chan didn't even realize what he had said until Hyunjin's eyes opened a lot. 

 

"Oh. Thank you." The little blush on Hyunjin's cheeks made Chan not regret saying it. 

 

As they ate, they mostly talked about themselves. Hyunjin, Chan found, was dance student; they also seemed to share a lot of hobbies, like swimming and soccer. Talking to Hyunjin was easy, the boy was nice and so talkative despite being shy. But Chan still found it hard to focus, because with a fountain and flowers as his background, Hyunjin looked almost like a fairy, so beautiful and unreal, Chan felt drawn to him without even wanting to.

 

The event was simple, not a lot of people, not a lot of sounds, just classical music playing as a nice background and the sounds of talking, laughs and champagne glasses as an accompaniment. 

 

The sun was setting and they were called to a little stage placed in the middle of flowers and trees. That was the first time Chan saw the bride and with a little laugh he suddenly understood why Hyunjin’s parents were so nice and the party was so little. 

 

Hyunjin’s sister was easy to spot. The same black, but really long hair, the same nose, the same smiley eyes. Tall and slim and beautiful in her long, blue dress. Next to her, stood a shorter woman; her short hair like caramel and her nose high and pointy, her dress green like emeralds shining almost like one with the last rays of the sun. Chan watched in bliss as they walked together, hand in hand to the stage and started dancing, the sunset as their lighting and their love so tangible in the air.

 

Hyunjin didn’t say anything, but by the smile on his face, Chan knew he was happy. 

When the couple finished their dance, many others joined the little stage, some settled for dancing around it over the grass.

Hyunjin turned to him, he looked embarrassed. Chan giggled.

 

“Would you dance with me?” Chan finally asked, Hyunjin beamed and dragged him closer to the stage.

The dance was slow, but not too romantic. Hyunjin, to no one’s surprise, was incredibly good. Chan wasn’t bad but the way Hyunjin made the simple movements seem so fluid made Chan almost trip over himself a few times.

 

“You’re not bad,” Hyunjin said just as the music changed. Now it was even slower. Hyunjin dragged Chan even closer. Chan looked up at him and smiled.

 

“Thank you, it’s a high praise coming from a dance major,” Hyunjin chuckled. “Why did you want a date for your sister’s wedding? It looks really… private.”

 

“It is. But… Hah,” Hyunjin stopped dancing for a few seconds, then shaking his head and dancing again. “Let’s just say I am a romantic. I couldn’t waste such a beautiful place on being alone.”

 

“If you’re such a romantic, wouldn’t it be better if you brought someone you actually liked?”

 

“Kind of? Isn’t this kind of exciting, though? It’s at least more interesting than dating apps and such. Not a fan of those,” Hyunjin scrunched his nose and Chan couldn’t help but laugh.

But Hyunjin was right. Being romantic and flirty to a total stranger was an exhilarating feeling Chan was getting addicted to. “You’re not disappointing so far. Indeed very close to the prince I have always dreamed about. The type I want to have a wedding like this with.”

 

“I’m glad you think so,” Chan couldn’t help but to fix the stray strand of hair in Hyunjin’s face, it was long enough to put it behind his ear, so he did. Hyunjin stared at him. 

 

“Are you a romantic person, Chan?”

 

“Not really. I like romantic gestures, but I’m not the type to believe in soulmates and love at first sight.”

 

Hyunjin hummed to himself. “Is there anyone you love?”

 

“Not really, I’m also not looking for a serious relationship. I have enough with Woojin,” the name slipped so easily, Chan couldn’t help but chuckle.

 

“Woojin?”

 

“My best friend. We spend a lot of time together, flirt, know everything about each other. I really do love him; no time for a committed relationship with him around.”

 

“That sounds like a serious relationship to me,” Hyunjin’s words were so whispered and low, Chan wondered if he had imagined them, but he didn’t have time to ask as the music went from slow dance to full-on party music.

Excited, Hyunjin looked at Chan, almost reminiscent of a puppy, and nothing but ran to the main stage.

Chan followed him and by the time he got there, Hyunjin was already dancing. Excited but still sharp, the movements even sexy. Maybe Chan got out of breath.

 

It was late into the night already, at some point, Chan had joined Hyunjin on the stage and they danced the night away. Now, only the full moon illuminated them. The guest left one by one and only then, Chan got to talk to Hyunjin’s sister.

 

“I’m sorry my little brother dragged you here today,” she joked at him as Hyunjin went to the bathroom. Chan laughed and shook his head.

 

“It was honestly my pleasure. It’s a beautiful place here.”

 

“My girlfr- My wife and I met at a flower shop,” her smile was so soft, Chan felt his heart warming up. “Hyunjin helped us pick this place.”

 

“Oh, he made sure to mention that at least five times today,” Chan teased. The girl, Hyuna, laughed. “Congratulations, by the way.”

 

“Thank you,” she seemed sincere. “It's the first time Hyunjin has ever brought a boy. I’m glad it’s you, you seem definitely like his type.”

 

Chan laughed nervously and she gave him one last smile and left to say goodbye to another guest. Only then, Hyunjin returned.

 

“It’s getting late, I should probably head home,” Chan said. Everything was silent and the air chilly, making Hyunjin’s hair just a little messy.

 

“Of course. I really enjoyed meeting you, Chan,” Hyunjin seemed hesitant, but finally decided to hug Chan. “Go home safely, text me when you get there and… just… text me whenever. I… enjoyed talking to you.”

 

For such a hyper, confident guy, Hyunjin surely was shy. Chan smiled at him. “I hope you enjoyed your night, Cinderella.”

 

“Midnight was already a few hours ago.”

 

“So even without the spell you’re beautiful? Unfair.” 

 

Hyunjin’s eyes opened wide at Chan’s comment. He hid his face with one hand, while the other pointed at the door. “Leave.”

 

Laughing, Chan started walking, bowing and signaling goodbye to Hyunjin’s parents and sister. Hyunjin gave him one final smile as he walked through the garden’s door, he looked just at home in the middle of all the flowers.

 

 

chan: i am home, thanks for the night, hyunjin

hyunjin: no, thank you, prince charming

 

Despite the hour, Chan couldn’t sleep.

That sounds like a serious relationship to me. The words echoed inside his head. 

What did that mean?

 

 

Changbin texted him as he was hanging out with Woojin about a week later.

 

binnie: not sure if you take double requests but i need your services

chan: never say services again. your parents?

binnie: oh, not for me, my best friend, he wants to get into a fraternity but he’s kind of a loser lmao

chan: and where do i come in?

binnie: wait, i’ll give him your number

 

Around five minutes later an unknown number was calling.

 

“Hello?” 

 

“Hi! Is this Changbin’s cute friend?” The boy’s voice was low, maybe intentionally.

 

“I should be the one asking that,” said Chan, unable to contain his smirk.

 

“Hah, smooth. Anyways, wanna come to a frat party tomorrow? You literally don’t need to do anything, just come with me.” Now the boy’s voice was higher the more he spoke. Chan found it amusing.

 

“Oh. Sure. What time?”

 

“We could see each other at like 8 PM, it’s in SNU.” SNU? So this guy was just as loaded as Changbin, seeing that they went to the same school and were friends. Interesting.

 

“I see. Sure, I’ll see you tomorrow… who?”

 

“Jisung! Then goodbye!” He abruptly hung up and Chan took a few seconds to realize. When he did, he shook his head and texted Changbin a confirmation when he noticed someone was looking at him. Chan looked up, and indeed, saw Woojin.

 

“I know I’m cute, but staring is rude,” Chan joked as Woojin rolled his eyes.

 

“I can’t believe you’re going to another of those dates.”

 

“Is it making you jealous?” Chan teased his friend, getting closer to him and cuddling into his arm.

 

“If I say yes, will you stop doing it?”

 

“Maybe! But maybe not because you’re still number one in my heart and I don’t think you’d stop being even if I got into a real relationship.”

The weight of his words only hit him with Woojin’s silence. 

That sounds like a serious relationship to me.

Woojin’s skin against his suddenly burnt and for just a second, Chan understood Hyunjin’s words. But that couldn’t be. He drowned the words at the back of his head.

He’d deal with it another time.

 

Even being in the neighborhood SNU was in made Chan feel out of place. The rich houses and rich stores. The immense school and intimidating buildings.

Jisung had told him to pick him up at his apartment, a student complex just beside the campus. 

When he got there, he just knew it was Jisung. Maybe it was the blonde hair that perfectly matched the voice over the phone. Maybe it was the leather jacket and skinny jeans, trying to look cool, perhaps. Maybe it was the fact that despite trying to look confident, the guy looked around and when Chan pulled over, he jumped and let out a little shriek. Chan pretended not to hear it for the sake of the boy.

 

“Jisung?”

 

“Yes, that’s me."

 

"I'm Chan," Jisung rolled his eyes. 

 

"Believe me, I know. Changbin doesn't stop talking about you," Chan felt his cheeks getting hot, he cleared his throat. "Okay, let's go."

 

Chan had been to his fair share of college parties, in fact, the entirety of his first year was spent in them. It was Chan's first year alone, in a different country, and he felt as lonely as ever. The constant alcohol in his system and the pressure of hundreds of bodies against his own made him feel not as alone. 

This party was not in the slightest different to what Chan was used to. The music too loud, the room too hot, the beer too cheap and the people too excited. 

He leaned into Jisung’s ear, the boy seemed startled but he also leaned into Chan. 

 

"So what's your plan?" Despite being right in Jisung’s ear, Chan still had to shout. 

 

"Stand out and hope the frat leader notices me. Let's go."

 

Jisung was bold as he held Chan's hand and walked him to the center of the house. He was also bold as he started dancing and Chan joined him. He was especially bold as he started grinding and dancing into Chan. There was so much Chan could handle and that was about it. Flustered, he stopped Jisung, who looked up at Chan's probably red face and laughed. 

 

"I'm bored," Jisung mouthed at him. Chan rolled his eyes, they had been there for only 20 minutes. Chan still decided to make Jisung walk around the place and the mass of bodies moving, and only then he noticed the stares. 

 

It was different than with Jeongin. People stared at Jeongin because they wanted to be with him. Chan knew that stare very well. These stares were different, and, with pain, Chan realized he also recognized them. 

Hate. Jealousy. Annoyance. 

Chan turned to look at Jisung, who looked just a little uncomfortable. Chan took his hand and dragged him out of the door. 

 

Outside there still were a lot of people, but the music wasn't loud. 

Jisung started laughing, but it was strained. 

 

"Here I was, trying to act all cool in front of you. I guess it didn't work." Chan didn't answer, Jisung laughed nervously. "A lot of eyes on me, huh? I guess I'm just that popular."

 

"Jisung, those were stares of hate."

 

"Believe me, I know," the boy seemed sad for a second, he then hit Chan's arm playfully. "Wanna know the lore? I killed the school's mascot in cold blood."

 

"I don't take you for a killer."

 

"Good, then my plan of looking innocent to then murder you is working!"

 

Chan chuckled and sat on the grass. Jisung joined him. "Is that really it?" 

 

"Of course not. They're jealous of me," somehow, though kind of douchey, it sounded true. 

 

"Why?" 

 

"Because I'm better than them."

 

"At what?" 

 

"Everything? Don't be fooled by all the rings in my fingers," Jisung showed him his hand, indeed, a lot of rings adorned them. "I'm not rich like all of them. I'm here on a full scholarship."

 

Chan couldn't hide his surprise. "You must be really good, then."

 

"I am. People call me genius, others call me lucky. The truth is that I worked fucking hard to get here and to stay here. It shows, on my grades, the way the teachers treat me, my internships; and they're jealous of that."

 

For a second, the boys façade faded. His eyes seemed sad and his voice raspy. Chan couldn't help but hold his hand. Jisung smiled at him. 

 

"If they hate you, why are you here? Why would you want to join their fraternity?" 

 

"Because I want to fit in. Don't we all? Or what is the reason you're here?" 

 

"For fun, mostly. I'm not really interested in fitting in." A lie. 

 

"Is that so? Is that why you're sitting on the wet grass with a lame 19 year old at a frat party of a college you don't even go to? For fun?" 

 

"Why do you think I do it then?" Chan was getting nervous, his hand left the younger's. The way Jisung looked at him was scarily analytical. He didn't like to be analyzed. 

 

"Because you're really fucking lonely."

 

Chan's blood started to boil. He got defensive. Why? Because he was right. Because this boy that he had meet only an hour ago was right. Because he felt so exposed and he wanted to hide. He freaked out.

 

"Like you're one to talk," Chan's voice became harsher, but Jisung just chuckled. "You're the one who hired me to come to a frat party of a college I don't even go to."

 

"At least I admit it. Changbin is my only friend, everyone else hates me, I spend my nights making music no one ever listens to instead of going to parties. Of course I'm fucking lonely."

 

They stared at each other for what felt like forever, maybe a little daring, mostly just sad, until Chan spoke. 

 

"It's been getting better since I started this, you know? I've gotten actual friends out of this. I was so used to people staring at me and following me around but not having actual friends," Chan was speaking in almost a whisper, so Jisung got closer. "I had Woojin but felt guilty for always trying to be around him when he could have a million other friends."

 

"Who is Woojin?" Jisung's voice was also a whisper. 

 

"My best friend? The one person that can handle my midnight crisis, my terrible humor, my moods. The only that can make me laugh hard and cry deeply. The only person I can say I actually love that loves me back."

 

"Dude… Does you boyfriend really let you go on dates with strangers?" 

  

"What?" Chan exclaimed. "He's not my boyfriend."

 

"Then you're a fucking goner for him, because that was a damn romantic speech."

 

Chan's heart was beating fast. He remembered Hyunjin's words, the way Woojin's touch burnt. That couldn't be. 

No. Not right now. 

 

Instead of letting himself freak out, Chan hit Jisung's arm. "Do you always swear this much?" 

 

"Yes."

 

Chan chuckled and stood up, Jisung did the same as Chan offered him a hand. "Be honest with me, Jisung, do you really want to go back inside to a party full of people that hate you just so you can fit in with them?" 

 

"I can't say I do."

 

"Would you like to go somewhere else with me to wallow in our loneliness?" 

 

"I would love to."

 

They ended up going to Jisung's dorm. ("The university also gave me this, they didn't say I had to keep it clean, though.")

 

"You don't have a roommate?" The room was really big, despite the mess, all of Jisung's things were on only one side. 

 

"Not yet. Changbin is moving in when he starts his senior year."

 

"Hmmm," Chan sat on Jisung's bed, Jisung sat in front of him, their knees touching. "So maybe then you won't be as lonely."

 

"And then I will be again after I kill Changbin out of exasperation. The boy is so slow, I can't stand him and we don't live together yet."

 

Chan giggled, looking down at his hands, and then noticed Jisung was staring at him. 

 

"What?" 

 

"You're too pretty to be lonely," Chan's whole face started burning. This time, Jisung didn't give him a sly smirk, he just stared at Chan, like he was deep in thought. 

 

"I could say the same to you," Chan whispered back.

 

Then the glass broke. Jisung shook his head and smiled big. "Duh, I know. So, wanna see what was good enough to get me a full scholarship here?" 

 

"Definitely."

 

It was late at night and the street was quiet and the room was also quiet besides the slow beats playing from Jisung's earphones. They didn't bother to turn on the light, so the darkness made the silence amplify. But Chan didn't feel lonely. 

Maybe it was the emotions of the music. Maybe it was Jisung's hand, which had found its way to Chan's under the desk in the middle of a particularly sad song, a lonely song. 

 

When Chan left, well late into the night, Jisung thanked him and kissed his cheek, briefly and almost like air; Chan’s heart still stammered. He felt bad and he walked away from the boy, looking small and melancholic standing now along at the doorstep. But he was smiling, Chan was smiling, too.

 

Jisung didn’t seem so lonely anymore.

 

Even as Chan drove back to his own dorm well late into the night, he didn't feel lonely. Jisung’s hand, lips and music still lingering in Chan. 

 

 

The next few days, Chan was spiraling. Thoughts of Woojin, of his own feelings, of the words of the others running through his head and he didn’t know what to do.

So he busied himself, just like he always did.

He distracted himself with work and songs and projects and messaging back and forth with his boys.

He ignored every other message of a date request. 

 

More often than not, he was at the coffee shop, even Seungmin seemed worried about Chan. 

 

Chan wrote and wrote, trying to make sense of the thousands of words of love that flowed from him. But it was getting impossible.

 

Did he really love Woojin? 

Chan had never been in love. Even back in Australia, his friends were sparse and he had never had a friendship as close as Woojin’s. Maybe he was getting his feelings mixed up?

 

He was going crazy.

 

And before he knew it, one week had gone by and just then he realized he had been avoiding Woojin. He saw the boy once and it was hell. Chan’s head felt like it would explode, his heart wasn’t doing much better. 

Maybe that was the reason he felt like he was dying when he finally saw Woojin on a Friday.

 

All it took for Chan to finally realize was a brief hug from Woojin, something Woojin did everyday, but now it made Chan’s heart brust.

 

Shit, he was in love his with his friend.

 

Woojin had found him at the coffee shop, sat at their usual table outside. Chan was nervous. He could only focus on the way light hit Woojin’s eyes; on Woojin’s hands and the way his fingers fiddled as he spoke; on Woojin’s beautiful voice but not his actual words. That’s why the shock hit him a lot harder.

 

“What do you mean date?” Chan asked, incredulous.

 

“Yes, Chan, a date. I’m sure you’re pretty used to them by now. His name is Hamin, we met a few days ago and he was really nice, he invited me to a bar.” Chan couldn’t speak, he didn’t know what to say. “And I hope this week you’ve spent ignoring me hasn’t changed our friendship because I need another favor.”

 

“I wasn’t ignoring you…”

 

“Really? Because I felt pretty ignored.”

 

“I’m sorry,” he really was. He had been so busy wallowing on his own feelings, he didn’t stop to think about Woojin’s. “What’s the favor?”

 

“Your date services?” Woojin smiled innocently. “Hamin was going to take his brother, he’s a few years younger than us, but now he’s going with me and his brother is scared of going alone.”

 

Why would Chan do that? Why would he help the boy he liked on his date with someone else? 

But then he looked at Woojin. He looked excited, hopeful, it was rare he accepted going on dates. And Chan was his best friend, only his best friend. So with all the pain in his heart… “Okay.” He agreed.

 

Chan drove them to his dorm to pick up his clothes and then to Woojin’s to get ready.

Despite being sad, Chan went all out. Leather pants, leather jacket, glittery eye makeup, hair slicked back, a black velvet choker. 

But he didn’t expect Woojin to go all out, too.

 

Hi best friend got out of the bathroom dressed in all black, something odd for the boy. His freshly dyed black hair was intentionally messy. Chains adorned his neck and he was even wearing eyeliner.

Chan could barely breathe.

 

“Is it good?” Woojin asked, ruffling his hair in front of the mirror. Chan couldn’t talk.

 

“You look.. really good.”

 

The smile Woojin gave him sent him into panic mode. His heart hurt. If Chan had any doubt he was in love with this man, all trace of it disappeared.  

 

“Let me go get my keys and then we’ll leave.”

 

As Woojin left the room, Chan took out his phone and with slightly jittery fingers he opened his chat conversations.

 

chan: you were right. i’m a fucking goner for him.

 

He got a response immediately.

 

jisung: i told you so! i know it all

chan: don’t get so cocky, you still owe me money from the date

jisung: you call me holding your hand as you cried because of my songs a date? because if so please reconsider your love life, baby

chan: shut up he’s coming back

 

Chan didn’t dare to speak on the ride from Woojin’s dorm the bar, but curiosity and jealousy burnt him to the last bone.

Once they got there and Chan parked, he turned to look at Woojin. He was smiling softly at his phone, he focused on the screen and saw he was texting Hamin. Chan scoffed.

 

“You don’t even know the guy,” he murmured, but in the silence of the car, it was all heard. 

Woojin turned to look at him, his soft smile was now a frown.

 

“Don’t act like you have any say on going out with someone you don’t know.”

 

“That’s different.”

 

“How is it?”

 

“I don’t smile at my phone like I’m fucking in love with them.”

 

“Oh is that so? You hypocrite. I was the one who had to sit around listening to you call Felix your soulmate, praising every little thing Changbin did, smiling like you were fucking in love whenever Hyunjin uploaded a picture,” Woojin’s voice wasn’t loud but still very much anger-filled. Chan started to feel fear.

 

“It’s still different!” Chan yelled, desperate, he couldn’t explain it without giving away everything. His insecurities, his thoughts, the fact that he was in love with his best friend and he couldn’t do anything about it. 

 

“No, it fucking isn’t,” Woojin yelled back, then got out of the car. Chan did, too, but just as he closed his door, Woojin was already meeting up with a guy. He was tall and from what Chan could see, very attractive. Woojin smiled at him and grabbed his arm and they walked inside. He didn’t look back at Chan.

 

Chan was about to go back inside his car, drive away into oblivion and cry his heart out, when someone touched his shoulder.

 

“Sorry, are you Bang Chan?” Chan turned to look at the stranger and came face to face with a beautiful boy. “I’m Minho, Hamin’s brother…”

 

Right. “Right. Yes, I’m Chan.”

 

“Are you okay?” For a second, Chan wondered if the boy was a robot, his voice so neutral and emotionless, his eyes so dark and his face so perfect. His nose was perfect, his jaw was perfect, his lips were perfect. His eyes, so big and almost catlike, scanned Chan’s face.

 

“I am. Do you want to go inside?” Yes, Woojin and him had just had a fight, and yes, he wanted nothing more than to cry into his bed and lock himself and all of his feelings away. But he had made a deal, and he wasn’t about to leave that boy alone.

 

Minho nodded and waited to walk behind Chan.

 

The place was Seoul’s best hidden secret, a gay bar locked away in between the streets of a fancy town, the only place people could be themselves without fear of judgement. Chan had discovered the place already a while ago, this was the first time he went there since he met Woojin. 

 

“Do you want to dance?” Chan asked Minho, the boy had been staring at him the whole time, he shook his head.

 

“Not yet.” Minho walked to the drink bar, they ordered something Chan can’t even remember and drank in silence for a few minutes too long.

 

Minho turned to look at him and smirked. “I get that I’m not very interesting, but I would appreciate if you didn’t look like you want to die.”

 

Chan got startled, he turned to look at Minho and shook his head emphatically. “No, no, it’s not that. I’m just… thinking about something.”

 

“Do you need a distraction?” Minho slid his hand on top of Chan’s, Chan tensed up, he looked at Minho. “I could talk to you about my cats.”

 

“Your… cats?”

 

“Yeah, I have three! Soongie, Doongie, Dori. I adopted them all,” For the first time, the boy’s voice was filled with excitement, Chan couldn’t help but chuckle, now Minho was also smiling, it seemed real instead of robotic.

 

“That’s really nice! I have a dog back home in Australia.”

 

“Ah, I’m not much of a dog person, but I suppose I can appreciate them.” Chan chuckled once again and he shook his head, Minho seemed somewhat embarrassed. “Sorry, I know I’m lame.”

 

“You’re not! You’re just… not what I expected.”

 

“And what did you expect?” Minho said, raising an eyebrow, smirk back on his face.

 

“You seem the type to be… sly, somewhat daring, rough.”

 

“And I am. Just not quite yet.” Minho took a shot at once and stood up, the sudden change in demeanor startled Chan. “Let’s just say that I’m tired of people assuming the worst of me for being myself.”

 

“I could never assume the worst of someone that lights up talking about his cats,” Chan said with a small smile, Minho smiled back and took his hand, pulling slightly so that Chan stood up.

 

“Now I want to dance.”

 

Minho dragged him to the dancefloor but a little further, not as many people were there, the music wasn’t as loud. 

 

To say Chan got left breathless by Minho was an understatement. The boy moved in way that was so sensual and controlled that was almost hypnotic. Chan didn’t realize he was standing still until Minho took his hand and placed in on his waist. 

 

They danced without words for what felt like hours. Sweat started dripping down Minho’s face, barely smudding his carefully applied eyeliner. The messiness just made him feel even more hypnotic.

 

Minho’s dancing looked, felt and smelt like sex. 

 

“Was this what you expected?” Minho leaned into Chan to whisper.

 

“A lot more,” Chan said, breathing harsh and hot against the younger boy’s ear. “I don’t know why you wanted me here, you seem to be in your element.”

 

Minho laughed and shook his head. “Being in places like this alone is dangerous. I would know.”

 

“I’m sorry that you know.”

 

“No worries, love. Are you distracted from your thoughts yet?” Minho asked, his dancing subsiding to little movement against Chan.

 

“I haven’t been thinking about it, I guess you succeeded.”

 

“Lies,” Minho laughed. “Who’s the boy, Chan? Or girl, for that matter.”

 

Chan laughed and shook his head. “Aren’t you quite the detective? Why don’t you guess?”

 

“Is it the guy my brother is with?” 

 

“Yes. How did you know?”

 

“I’m just that smart,” Chan didn’t doubt him. “Why did you not go after him?”

 

“I’m not that brave.”

 

Minho didn’t ask any more questions, he just danced and made Chan follow along. Minho was right, Chan was lying. Woojin never left his mind and he felt guilty, because he had a wonderful boy standing right in front of him.

 

The music slowed down, it was still EDM, but the mood turned sexier. Minho’s dance perfectly mirrored the music, he looked up at Chan, maintaining eye contact, and Chan knew exactly what was going to happen. Minho did too, for he nodded and got closer to Chan.

Minho’s eyelashes fluttered a little as Chan leaned in. Minho closed his eyes, Chan did the same.

The kiss wasn’t butterflies and it wasn’t love. But it tingled and it felt right and Minho was a great kisser. For a moment, all thoughts left his head, now for real. 

He didn’t know anything, he only knew Minho’s mouth and Minho’s hands, slowly traveling up to his hair.

 

When they broke apart, Minho smiled at him. “As much as I liked that, don’t do this to yourself.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Hurt your feelings for that boy.”

 

“He doesn’t like me back.”

 

“You don’t know that,” Minho said, hands dropping form Chan’s hair to Chan’s hands. “But you could know it. Go after him, Chan.”

 

“I can’t leave you here.”

 

“I’m a big boy, I can handle it.” Chan knew that wasn’t true, in his eyes there was fear, but he also seemed truthful. Chan looked at him and leaned in to kiss his cheek.

 

“Thank you, Minho.”

Chan looked around the bar again and again. He couldn’t find Woojin. He was about give up when he got a text.

 

woojin: he tried to kiss me even when i told him not to. i’m going home now. have fun with minho.

 

Panic raised in him, anger and panic. He ran outside to his car. He took a deep breath and just before he started the engine, he took out his phone.

 

chan: i will forget your debt if you go to the gay bar in hongdae and find a boy named minho, he’s wearing a red, satin shirt. and whatever you do, don’t leave him alone. please.

 

Chan barely saw the response.

 

jisung: on it

 

He drove to Woojin’s dorm almost in autopilot, his mind wandering to other places. What would he say? What would he do? How would Woojin react?

When he finally got there, his heart has racing. His feet taking him to Woojin’s door faster than his mind and as he knocked and awaited, he rehearsed his first words.

I am sorry, I want to explain everything to you and-

 

The door was opened and Chan didn’t even have time to realize as he was immediately smothered in a bear hug. He hugged Woojin back and all of the words in his head vanished.

 

Without a word, Woojin lead him inside and soon they were sat at the boy’s couch.

 

“What happened?” Chan broke the silence.

 

“Just what I said, he tried to kiss me, I said no, he, very maturely, called me a pussy, tried to kiss me again, so I just left,” Woojin laughed, a strained, bitter laugh. “I really thought he’d be a decent guy. I guess you were right, I didn’t know him.”

 

Chan grabbed Woojin’s hand, trying to ignore the electricity. “It wasn’t your fault. And… I’m sorry for saying that.”

 

“I’m sorry for screaming at you.”

 

“You had a good reason, I know I didn’t exactly explain myself.” Chan looked down, somewhat embarrassed. 

 

“Would you like to do it now?”

“It’s the right thing to do,” Chan said, decidedly. He took a deep breath and stared directly into Woojin’s worried eyes. “I guess I just felt really lonely, I felt like I needed love in my life and when the opportunity showed up… I just wanted to fill the void.”

 

Woojin stared at him, his expression now hurt, Chan only squeezed his hand tighter. “Was I not enough?”

 

“No!” Chan said instantly. “On the contrary. You are… way more than enough. So I felt guilty, selfish, because I wanted to always have you by my side. You have a heart way too big to only use it on me.”

 

“Those dates… Did they help you?”

 

“Woojin, I found some of the most amazing people with them. I found people I feel like I can actually get close to. People that make me feel not so lonely,” Chan smiled widely and Woojin smiled back. “They also helped me realize a lot of things.”

 

“Like what?”

 

That was it. That was the moment. No going back.

 

“Like the fact that I am not alone, that I have you and I always will, that you mean to me words of a magnitude I can’t even explain. That…” Chan took a deep breath and looked away from Woojin, his stare burning Chan. “That I am in love with you, and in love with the way you make me feel. That I love our relationship but wished it was something more. That I want to know if you feel the same way.”

 

Only then, Chan looked back; tears running down Woojin’s face, a soft smile plastered on his face and Chan felt hope. Woojin untangled his hand from Chan’s to clean his face form the tears, then he laughed.

 

“Sorry,” Woojin said, smile still as big. “I just can’t believe you’re asking if I feel the same way. As if my jealousy was well hidden and my flirting subtle.”

 

“...what?”

 

“Chan, are you really that oblivious?” Woojin put his hand on Chan’s cheek, the boy still deep in confusion. “I thought you’d noticed but didn’t care so you did all the dating thing. Wow.”

 

“... Am I really that dumb?” Chan asked, still incredulous. Woojin laughed again and put his other hand on the other side of Chan’s face, then he got really close.

“Yes.” 

 

Woojin leaned in and just before his lips touched Chan’s, he stopped. Chan leaned in, too.

 

This kiss was fireworks and it felt like love. It tasted like salt from the tears and alcohol. it tasted like all of the years before and the years to come. It tasted like Woojin, so it tasted like home.

 

“So, are we a thing now?” Chan asked in his more regular teasing voice. Woojin rolled his eyes, happiness still evident on his face.

 

“Firstly, I feel like we’ve always acted just a little bit married, so, in a way, we’ve always been a thing. Won’t your other boyfriends feel jealous, though?” Woojin asked, voice equally as teasing.

 

“Oh, no, I’m sure they’d be stoked to know! Maybe someday you’ll even meet them!” 

 

“Can’t wait.”

 

Woojin fell asleep by his side, and Chan had never felt happier, fuller, his heart never quite so crowded. 

 

He wasn’t lonely anymore.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it.  
> Feel free to talk to me, request things or just yell at me on Twitter @moonlightsungie  
> All your comments are very appreciated!


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